Once upon a time…

I found the hottest guy ever on Okstupid.  I decided what the hell, let’s message him.  I got diarrhea of the mouth.  It was a bad move.  What did I write? Oh yes, let’s go down this path….

I don’t even know how I could not message you after reading that you love the outdoors (beaches!!), like Game of Thrones and the Watchmen, enjoy sarcasm and vodka, and are tall and clearly good looking. You can look at my profile to see those common interests…but what is not on my profile is that I share the same distaste for covering up getting out of bed (or generally in my room/house). Anyway, even if you aren’t attracted to me- I would be interested in showing you good food in the area and great places to visit. You had pictures with dogs so I don’t know if you have a dog, but if you do, I have some great parks that I take my dog to and she loves other dogs!

GO ME!!!!

accordingtosami:

thesearetheirstories:

eaux-dear:

beardickpunch:

i laughed so hard when i saw this

this forreal breaks my heart. this meme has the same effect on me as sad puppies has on the rest of the world

Entomology is in my blood. I have feelings for bugs.

Spider friend nooooooo

49,475 notes

Pottermore

I am finally in and able to use it. Please be my friend!

ScarletChestnut99

In other news, I was sorted into Hufflepuff and am incredibly bitter about this.

3 notes

Cockblocked by a HURRICANE

I hate this hurricane more and more each moment that passes.

4 notes

Pay Pal founder and early Facebook investor Peter Thiel has given $1.25 million to an initiative to create floating libertarian countries in international waters, according to a profile of the billionaire in Details magazine.

Silicon Valley billionaire funding creation of artificial libertarian islands | The Lookout - Yahoo! News

Nope, this is not an Onion article. The PayPal founder is going to go Galt on a real-life Bluthton.

(via shorterexcerpts)

Does this mean we can put all the Libertarians on an island?

(via mfnher)

Libertarians on an island and not in my country? My birthday’s not until next month! It’s Christmas in August!

(via wtfox-)

I’m cool with this, as long as only libertarians live there.

(via heyitsnorton)

Good. When I make my Internet millions, I’m going to buy a surplus Navy submarine and have me some target practice.

(via nefariousnewt)

I know I can’t be the only person that is thinking “Rapture” in my head right now. Come on, Bioshock? Anyone? Anyone?

39 notes

thelefthandedwifeisundercover:

maritsa:

zombiesmaketheheartgrowfonder:

maritsa:

zombiesmaketheheartgrowfonder:

tehsunshine:

Also: Snape didn’t watch Lily while she slept. Not being creepy WIN!

Ok I seriously thought this made Snape look so bad.  Harry is there screaming his lungs out and Snape is just crying over dead Lily. Pick the poor kid up, damn it!

Yeah. Ain’t nothing creepy about cradling the dead body of a woman who wouldn’t have let you touch her while she was alive!

Also, WHY DIDN’T SOMEBODY GO GET HARRY?? People knew James and Lily were dead, but they left a baby there? O…k.

The more I stare at that GIF the more creeped out I am. Gives me all sorts of heebie jeebies about his “always” comment…

Yeah, I went there. Necrophilia for the win.

The frightening thing is that there are probably multiple fanfics out there that feature it. Ugh.

There are. I’ve seen them. I won’t link, because it’s Friday and nobody deserves that on a Friday.

You keep that right there to yourself, ya hear!?

123,370 notes

maritsa:

zombiesmaketheheartgrowfonder:

tehsunshine:

Also: Snape didn’t watch Lily while she slept. Not being creepy WIN!

Ok I seriously thought this made Snape look so bad.  Harry is there screaming his lungs out and Snape is just crying over dead Lily. Pick the poor kid up, damn it!

Yeah. Ain’t nothing creepy about cradling the dead body of a woman who wouldn’t have let you touch her while she was alive!

Also, WHY DIDN’T SOMEBODY GO GET HARRY?? People knew James and Lily were dead, but they left a baby there? O…k.

The more I stare at that GIF the more creeped out I am. Gives me all sorts of heebie jeebies about his “always” comment…

Yeah, I went there. Necrophilia for the win.

123,370 notes

tehsunshine:

Also: Snape didn’t watch Lily while she slept. Not being creepy WIN!

Ok I seriously thought this made Snape look so bad.  Harry is there screaming his lungs out and Snape is just crying over dead Lily. Pick the poor kid up, damn it!

123,370 notes

@5east

I know, my bad. PROOF my innocence. 

How exactly does one proof their innocence? I feel like this could be really great…

1 note